Posted on 19 Aug 2011 by Jerome Leng
Ministry has been full-on in church and my rest days are usually just times for me to catch up on sleep and food – my apologies to everyone for not writing for such a long time. However, since ‘Foundation Day’ is coming up, I thought it best that I write to you.
It has been a year – one year in “full time” ministry. I have grown so much in my Christian faith; the constant struggle with theology has taught me to continually trust in the providence and sovereignty of God but at the same time, to work hard and plan for my future if I am going to do ministry for the rest of my life. This antinomy between God’s sovereignty and human responsibility is a constant “threat” to my heart and mind because although these are true, in and of themselves, it is hard to reconcile the two in the same reality. How I wish that God would do everything in ministry (and He does!) and we are not held responsible (but we are!) because on that final day, He will test our work and we will have to give Him an account of what we have done and what we have not done. ‘The General Confession’ of the Anglican liturgy says this poignantly:
“There is nothing in us that gives us reason for hope, for where we thought we were well, we are sick in soul. Where we thought we were holy, we are in truth unholy and ungrateful. Our hearts are filled with the love of the world; our minds are dark and assailed by doubts; our wills are too often given to selfishness and our bodies to laziness and righteousness.”
Ministry in church is tiring and sad because people are sinful and at the same time, I myself am sinful! I struggle to help others and myself. As I keep calling others to repentance and faith, I have been challenged to confront the hypocrisy of my own heart. But that is the nature of the gospel. And that is precisely why we preach the gospel. It affirms not only the hearers but also its messengers because the gospel is God’s message for all; the gospel not only reminds us of the gravity of our sin but the forgiveness of our sins! What joy it brings to my heart to preach the Lordship of Christ!
I thank God that for the past one year, I have been slowly learning by experience what it means for Christ to be the Head of the Church (though I understand this theoretically). CERC is Christ’s Church and I am not ashamed of that. I am thankful that our Elder has modelled this to us – sometimes I wonder whether he is mad or not! It seems to me that he trusts God too much! All the time, people say that we should not do this or that and put us down; all the time others levy false accusations at our church; all the time, we ourselves, the church, fail on our part to be faithful in ministry and yet, here we are in 2011. I say this is a miracle! God loves this church because He puts us through lots of suffering! It is not that we are asking for it, by the way. He is moulding and shaping us, disciplining us by making us work hard in this “wasteland” of precise and accurate teaching of the gospel! We are a Holy Spirit-filled church and it is so exciting to be serving Christ in CERC! There are lots of stories but they are best heard verbally and expressed by the members themselves instead of being penned down here. If one were to hang around with us for a week, one would experience the power of God through His People. Dr. Barry Webb, an Old Testament scholar from Moore’s Theological College did just that last month and he was deeply encouraged. I was encouraged that he was encouraged!
With ‘Foundation Day’ and our move to the next shop lot around the corner, our life together as a church is a testimony of the faithfulness of God to His People. It is very exciting! There is slow and steady growth. Everyone is beginning to grasp their theology better by understanding it in confession, reflecting upon it daily and applying it in their lives in the context of the church.
Our dear friends, come visit us on ‘Foundation Day’. Your presence is an encouragement to us. Do continue to support us financially as well for the sake of gospel growth in Malaysia through our church.
With love and thanksgiving, for the gospel,
Jerome
