A gift for ministry pursued

CERC’s first Ministry Training Strategy (MTS) apprentice Jerome Leng has graduated from his apprenticeship and is now pursuing his theological education through Boyce College, the undergraduate school of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. In this interview, he shares with us his experience as an apprentice.

CERC: When did you start MTS?

Jerome: Come July this year, it will be 4 years since I started MTS. I officially finished MTS last July. After that, I spent my time completing my written assessment and planning for seminary.

How did you make the decision to join MTS?

Back then, I was studying medicine in IMU and on the verge of giving up Christianity. Then I met Joshua Johnson, who invited me for one of the CERC camps. From the camp, I met Robin [Elder of CERC] who offered to do one-on-one bible study with me and it was through the bible studies that it started getting clear in my head what the gospel is about from the scriptures.

The key to my renewed life was that my faith was finally substantiated by the bible, which I saw from Colossians and understood the Lordship of Christ through it. This doctrine “converted” me and motivated me to consider full-time paid ministry.

And it was from then on that I was motivated to preach the gospel from the bible because I realised that a lot of Christians don’t understand that.

I went all out doing ministry in IMU campus. I joined the Christian Fellowship and started off some ministries. After a while, Robin suggested that I should consider full-time paid ministry. This had actually been an intention of mine since my high school days, long before I met Robin. Did you know? I had seven pastors who prophesied over me saying that I will be doing full time ministry. *laughs*

After a year of struggling to convince myself and my parents of the decision to drop everything for ministry, I went into MTS.

It sounds like it was a straightforward decision to start MTS. Was that the case?

The point of doing MTS is to figure out that calling ? full time paid ministry. What I really want to do and I was willing to die to get this sorted out, is to figure out how I’m going to live the rest of my life in obedience to Jesus Christ.

Ministry in IMU was successful. If I had the gift of preaching and teaching, why not just try it for two years and see whether I can live it as a full time paid minister? And if I can do it, why not just do it for the rest of my life? So that’s what I did and still want to do.

The decision itself wasn’t straightforward in the sense that I was doing well in medicine and I sort of liked it. There were also people challenging my decision. At the same time, it was straightforward because this is what Jesus requires of his disciples. If I have a gift and if I’m called to do it, I’m supposed to do it.

What was the most difficult in making the decision to start MTS?

The most difficult part was the internal decision I had to make regarding my own heart and mind. The greatest hindrance was fear ? the fear of the future, the fear of failure and the fear of disappointing God ? which is the opposite of having faith. It was mostly me fighting these fears within myself wanting to use “wisdom” as an excuse to not do ministry or to do it at a later date in life.

How was the MTS experience? What did you actually do during those two years?

As an MTS apprentice, you join almost every word ministry in CERC, like campus, growth groups, Sunday school, preaching, music and youth. For youth, we were very worried that I couldn’t do it because we didn’t have a youth ministry back then. But by God’s providence, some youths were converted through my efforts of teaching in high school Christian Fellowships and White Water Summer Camp. I had the opportunity to be involved in the youth ministry for about a year and half. The bulk of the rest of my training was spent doing campus ministry.

Was there any point in time during your MTS stint that you felt like giving up?

Yup. It happened quite frequently until halfway through my second year of MTS. I had doubts of inadequacy, skill, godliness and whether I fulfilled the required pastoral appraisals like Timothy and Titus. Mainly, it was my fear of failure and not wanting to face up to it.

But after I wrote my assessment ? a total of 20,000 words or 40 pages ? it became quite clear on what I have to do.

During those times when you felt like giving up, what kept you going?

There wasn’t just one thing that kept me going. In some instances, it was the preaching of God’s word through Robin. I still remember this. He was preaching from 1 Corinthians 9, talking about how pastors give up their lives [for God and the church]. I was crying the whole time during the whole sermon.

There were also other times when my trainer, Robin, challenged me personally. He once said “What does the bible say? Can you justify your actions? If you can’t, then get out of it!” It is the kind of challenge that pushes you to be hardy, strong and to deal with your problems instead of entertaining them.
In other instances, I told myself that I couldn’t afford to go down this path [of fearing failure]. Ministry depends on me performing. I can’t be depressed and teach the bible. I can’t be depressed and preach a sermon or lead my youth.

Partly, ministry forces me to deal with my problems. You have to think about it and deal with it. You have to open up the biblical text again and remind yourself about things that you already know. It’s nothing new but it is about going through the same things over and over again. Then at the end of it is always coming to God in prayer, asking him to give me strength. Then try again and hopefully, foul up to a lesser degree.

Do you think MTS has prepared you for future ministry?

It has achieved that partly. If I want to look at ministry from the point of an elder, then no, MTS does not prepare me for eldership. Eldership is something an MTS apprentice will have to look forward to. The role of an elder looks at ministry as someone who has oversight.

As an MTS apprentice, you look at ministry like a lieutenant, someone who is active in ministry and under orders. At the same time, you need to be opportunistic. It is good exposure to what ministry would generally be like.

Would you have reached this level of maturity if you did not do MTS?

No… Never! If I stayed in medicine, I’d be so blur, so hopeless In my first year of MTS, the learning curve was very steep. I was so excited for my first year because I had lots of ministry opportunities. I learnt so much and I wrote long reflection papers on my ministries for my trainer. The second year was about revising the first year but the learning curve was just as steep. You have to grow up very fast, you don’t have a choice.

Is it necessary for someone who wants to be a pastor to go through MTS before going to seminary?

It depends. Those who should do MTS are those who have no thorough exposure to ministry, who don’t have a solid foundation in reading and teaching the bible before seminary. Seminary is all about learning and studying stuff, but that is only the means to a greater end.

(The end) is to actually teach it and deliver it. MTS pushes you and challenges you to see the need of what you have to do. If you can see that before seminary, then you can probably skip the MTS stage. But I can’t think of anyone who can do that.

MTS is also about learning to live with the church and to work with the church on a full time basis. It gives the sense that you are giving your life to these people when you wake up every morning and commit yourself to God. It takes time. If you go to seminary without having this attitude, then you don’t understand how it is meant to translate into service. The key is service. MTS breaks you and make sure you become a person with a servant attitude.

So to summarise, what was the purpose of you doing MTS?

After the assessment, I realised that God has given me a gift. And I want to pursue this! I want the church to hold me accountable to it. I’m doing this out of love for the church and I want them to know that. And because there is a church and there are people to be taught, I need to study hard and work hard. This is why I do it: for the sake of God’s people.