Posted on 1 Dec 2013 by Jerome Leng
3 years seemed like a really short time. But much has changed in my disposition. Many lessons were learnt and gifts developed. My greatest fear is that I will forget all the important things that God has taught me because I believe the experience in MTS is formative for seminary and a lifetime of faithful ministry.
At the end of MTS, every MTS-er must write a self-assessment based on categories that I shall not mention (We’re supposed to work it out ourselves; no answers here for future MTS-ers!). I wanted to write something as a reminder to my future self because I know I will forget. This motivated me to write a treatise to myself. All the ministries I led, talks I gave and persons I personally taught must be included. Based on what I did for the 3 years, I had to reflect about myself and ministry and assess the quality of my work.
I will share with you some parts of that treatise in 10 points. I hope that this will encourage you in your service to our Lord Jesus, inform your understanding of full time paid ministry and cause you to love your pastor and church staff members more.
1. We must strive to be excellent in the preaching and teaching of the gospel.
Another way of expressing this is faithfulness to God and his word. The apostle Paul said to the Corinthian Church…
According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it. 11 For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. (1 Cor 3.10-11)
…and to the elders of Ephesus…
26 Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all, 27 for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God. (Acts 20.26-27)
The gospel is the power of God for salvation for everyone who believes (Rom 1.16). So we must preach it in its fullness, as God would have us do! In ministry, delivering the testimony of the cross and resurrection of Jesus Christ according to the Scriptures is of first importance (1 Cor 15.1-4). In the delivery of the gospel message, we are not merely conveying information but, like a skilled master builder, we are building the lives of others on the foundation that is Jesus Christ.
I have seen too many Christian ministries build on other foundations out of complacency, lack of clarity and direction and a fundamental misapprehension of the ultimate standard in Christian ministry. Worse, I find that the problem is more basic. People simply do not have any standards in ministry! We have a laissez faire attitude when it comes to ‘church-stuff’ but not toward secular work. This is real problem.
We must keep in mind Paul’s exhortations to Timothy:
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. (2 Tim 2.15)
Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers. (1 Tim 4.16)
It is godly to be excellent in the preaching and teaching of the gospel. And by excellence, I mean the desire and ability to execute the preaching of the gospel faithfully. The ministry of the word requires the highest dedication that any man and woman can muster.
Besides the apostle Paul, I learnt this lesson through the example of my Elder. His dedication to the word of God is incredible. In all the ministries that I do, he encouraged me to exegete the Bible carefully and to do so consistently every single time. Through his teaching, I also learnt to uphold the authority of the Word of God in matters of life and faith.
2. Faithfulness is exhausting.
This goes without saying that such commitment to the word of God is really exhausting. I think fatigue is a major cause of unfaithfulness and disobedience to God. When I am tired, I feel like I can’t be as serious as I want to. In fact, I can’t be bothered about anything and I just want to take a long break.
But obedience to God requires the total submission of the heart; our minds, wills, emotions and strength. We have to give 100% to God all the time because He wants all that we are. From my waking to sleeping, I must remember who I am as a Christian and in particular, one who is called by God to teach His word. And so, even though I am exhausted, I must work hard to understand the truths that He has revealed to me in the Scriptures and to apply them before I can teach it to others so that they too can walk in obedience of the faith.
Paul said in Acts 20.31, “Therefore be alert, remembering that for three years I did not cease night or day to admonish every one with tears.”
When I am tired, I am not alert (How on earth did he do it? Paul is a gospel machine!). My mind starts to drift from the knowledge of my calling and the gospel. I wander from the faith and the sense of self-importance begins to rise. In such situations, I have to ask myself, “Do I remember the example of Christ, the apostles and Christian leaders who spent all their energies for the glory of God? Am I willing to be spent by the Lord?”
I can never forget this verse. It has been always been an encouragement to me. Paul trusted in the power of God as his strength in his proclamation of Christ.
28 Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. 29 For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me. (Col 1.28-29)
3. It is important to rest so that you may serve better.
Have you ever wondered why you have to sleep? If you sleep 8 hours a day, technically you spend a third of your life sleeping. Out of 60 years, you only actually lived for 40 years! I always tell myself to sleep less so that I can do more for God. But I’ve come to realize that God was teaching me a lesson with sleep.
He was teaching me to trust in Him. I remember being anxious about many things: sermons that I had to preach the following day, bible studies to lead, people to evangelize to, electives to prepare, conferences to run, ministry opportunities to look out for and books to finish. I couldn’t sleep because I was worried. But the fact that my body needed sleep showed me my limitation; I am not meant to do it all but trust in the sovereign will of God.
Besides sleep, I think it is important to set aside some time for your body to recover. Every individual has a different way of resting. I’ve tried taking longer naps, watching movies, reading, going away for a day trip, lunches and hanging out with church members, spending time with family, exercise and sometimes a short vacation. Now, all these things can be enjoyed in and of themselves but functionally, the point of resting is so that you have the energy to go on serving. The goal is not to rest in this life. (But our culture works differently. People work for the first 40 years of their lives, only to enjoy long vacations in their 40’s or 50’s.) As Christians, we have all of eternity to enjoy God’s renewed creation.
Now, we have a mission. Our Lord says in Matt 28.18-20,
18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
We rest to go on working. This is one of our mottos in church, “You can rest when you die.” Amen!
We have a gospel to preach and churches to plant.
4.Loving the church is a deliberate choice.
Jesus says in John 15.12,
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
Love for the church does not come naturally. We do not come to love Jesus naturally. The Spirit has to work in our hearts so that we repent and make that deliberate choice to love Jesus and put our faith in him. Loving the church is the same paradigm.
We are commanded to love, not asked. Jesus makes it clear that if we do not love the church, we do not love Him because we are breaking His command to us.
This is perhaps the greatest challenge for every Christian. The underlying reason for points 1-3 is this: God gave His son out of love for His people. And so, we give ourselves in ministry out of the same love that God has poured into our hearts by His gospel to build up the church.
But how many of us deliberately love the church? What does this love look like in practice? These are very important questions that we must ask ourselves regularly.
MTS heightened my sense of this love. Why would I bother to listen to people’s problems? Why would I take the first step to speak to others? Why would I commit to serve this brother or sister for years? Isn’t my job just to preach and teach? Why should I offer my gifts in service to the church? Does it matter if a person leaves the church? Should I chase after them?
If I had no love, honestly, I would be quite bored in ministry because I would have nothing to do and no one to care for except myself and my family. But the church is also my family. We are united by the blood of Christ. When I made the choice to follow Christ, I also made the choice to love His people.
This love has to be genuine. I pray to Christ often for the Spirit to enlarge my heart. I know I am sinful and loving others is very difficult and so I pray and hope to God to increase my capacity to love his people.
5. Fear is crippling.
I am afraid of many things. I fear failure, disappointment, pain and hurt, sacrifice, shortcomings, missed opportunities, suffering and persecution, lost friendship, danger, lack of time, the past, present and future, loneliness, speaking up and being a Christian, the church failing and…God. *gulp*
When these fears set in, I shrink back from my calling. Instead of having the willingness to endure and diligence to work, I am filled with timidity and dwell in mediocrity. The excellent standard that I spoke about earlier becomes absolutely frightening. In such moments, I want to give up and live a ‘normal’ life; get a job and care for my family was the bare minimum.
I must deal with my fears because it affects the quality of the ministry. Fear cripples me and by implication everything that I do.
So what did I do to overcome these fears? Well, the honest answer is, it’s complicated. I mean, I still have to face these fears but essentially I know that God is my source of courage. After all, God gave us a spirit of power, love and self-control (2 Tim 1.7). I acknowledge that there is a divine work that is happening in my heart and mind as I face my fears.
I think it was C.S. Lewis who said this, “Courage is not found in the absence of fear but in the presence of it”. My fears allow me to be courageous. When I am afraid, I need to trust in God, use the wisdom He has given me and carry on with the task. I would say that preaching is my greatest fear. I stand before a judging and sinful crowd and on behalf of a holy and righteous God. But I have the Spirit of God as my source of strength and the Gospel of God as my armour (Eph 6.10-20).
We have to understand our fears and deal with them for our own sakes and the sake of the ministry of the gospel.
What are your fears?
To be continued…
