BAPTISM

1. What was your life like before Christ?

Having been a preacher's child all my life, I would never have admitted that I “didn't know” Christ or “didn't have” Christ. I thank God for being born in the family I was in, because if I had not had a glimpse of what a Godly life looked like through my parents and my family, I think I would have been even more far removed from my love for God by now. Yet still, by the simple illusion of piety, I was made to think that my faith was inherited and secured. I grew up living like a Christian, talking like one, acting like one, eating and drinking like one, yet deep down in me somewhere I never really cared about God, it was just something of a whatever to me, a certain way of living that was just a bit special, that's all.

Having barely ever missed a week of church for all my life, and having read the bible cover-to-cover maybe twice or thrice, I eventually reached my rebellious teenager stage that ultimately exposed my shaky foundations, or the lack of in the first place. My internal, deep-rooted hatred of God exposed itself during my time in high school. I was very exposed to the world, finding many interesting, worldly passions that piqued my interest like sports, girls, success, power, and friends, among others. Behind my parent's back, I began skipping church weekly to go hang out with my friends, doing more “fun” things, and altogether dropping all the “Christianity” I had grown up with.

Anytime I did go to church, it was only but a social activity for me, just another friend group to be around. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong, I thought God would understand that I was just finding my way, and that I'd end up again as a Christian maybe when I retired and have tasted all the world had to offer. Obviously I wouldn't be stupid enough to give up a place in heaven I thought, and yet living in such a horrible, tragic way caused me to stay up many nights fearing the course of life, being scared of death, thinking about a question often asked to me, “what if Jesus were to come back tomorrow?”

2. How did you become a Christian?

As my time in high school came to an end, I would eventually end up in Sunway College in the beginning of 2023. I often joked (while thanking God for His sovereignty and recognizing the incredible grace He has shown me) about how it was divine intervention that just as I joined Sunway, my brother Joel became the staff worker of Sunway SOLIDD, a fellowship of Christian students from my home campus, Sunway.

Naturally, I maintained the same attitude I had in high school of dreading doing anything God related, as I'd very much rather have spent my time basking in my college life of freedom. Regardless, Joel still encouraged me often to come to SOLIDD, even reading the Bible with me, making sure I was growing in my faith and knowledge of God in a healthy, word-centered way, while being surrounded by fellow like-minded Christians who want to love God in the same way.

I truly thank God for Sunway SOLIDD and love them very much as a ministry that has changed mine, and many others’ lives towards loving Jesus. They showed me how life was meant to be under God, through His word, seen in their love and service to everyone around them, including me. I had never seen God’s word like this in my life before (not that I had never read it, as per question 1), as I always thought it was just a “playbook of principles” relating to life, but I see it now, how it’s only through God’s Word that people's lives can be changed, as I have come to experience for myself. SOLIDD displayed that truth so clearly for me, seen in how serious they are about God’s Word and being part of His ministry, showing that they were primarily CHRISTIAN students, not just any students. Through them, God ultimately caused me to see who He was and who I was meant to be as His son.

Spending time on a monday night digging deep into God’s word was certainly not high up on my priority list initially. Yet, through the time I spent there, and through many 1-on-1 sessions with my brother, my Christianity and my view of God was challenged. Joel helped question me as a brother (both biologically and in-Christ), whether I even loved God at all the way I was living and doing things, in terms of who I was at the very core of my being. I did not, and in fact it took much time and effort to recognize that I actually hated God in my attitude, heart, and mindset towards Him and that I had no right of my own to approach Him in any way. However, I sit humbled at the great mercy of God, who Himself opened my eyes to His gospel, making me recognize the need for a King and Saviour, our Lord Jesus Christ.

By God’s grace I have come to see how my life in college and university can’t just be about myself, and lazing around anymore, but it should be committed to loving and serving God, and helping other people to do the same with my short time in university. Thats the least that our great God deserves, no less than everything that we are and all of our lives. It should be to Serve Our Lord in Dutiful delight (what the name SOLIDD stands for)!

3. What has changed since becoming a Christian?

In a completely different manner than how I had lived the rest of my life, I can now confidently say that I know God, in a real, visceral manner through His living and true Word. As a man who is easily swayed to care for worldly things, I must say, it is strange but refreshingly life-changing to now love something much bigger and more than myself and my small ambitions. Previously growing up in church, I had no bother for the gospel nor the church, nor caring and loving it. I'd rather have played on my phone or talked to my friends than listen to God's Word being preached, partly a gen-z short attention span issue. Now being able to sit in church, bible studies, and CF just seeing and hearing God's Word spoken is life to me, to be able to know God's glory. It's a new experience, though it shouldn't have been considering my background, and yet holding on to every true word spoken in the Bible in a way that directs and defines my life for God's purposes in a 2 Timothy 3:16 way has become a joyful undertaking.

4. What does it mean for you to say "I am Christian"?

The gospel I once knew to be me-centered, has now become God-centered, and focused on displaying His glory to the rest of the world. That is no small feat and is something that only can be done by God's Spirit that changes and transforms hearts to love Him, and so I live a life now seeking to please Him everyday, not perfectly of course, and there is much personal sanctification I must still face and grow towards. It is because of that, that my small, inconsequential view of church fully changed, as would be a standard symptom of a self-centered gospel. Growing up thinking that my faith was just inward-looking, meant that Godly love and the building up of Christ's body meant very little to me. I recall during one of my 1-on-1 sessions with Joel, talking about church life, when it occurred to him that I was still skipping church at the time. It was a tough to process, yet necessary rebuke that caused me to see how as a Christian, all I should and want to care about is the building up of God's church in love and service to Him, as undeserving sinners saved for His worship. I was once never really assured about my faith, unsure whether I was truly Christian or not, but knowing now that only God Himself can work in man's hearts to make Christian's for Himself, that reality of being a Christian has been made real to me now, that I might carry out God's good will and purposes as one saved by Him.

Thanks for reading :)

1. What was your life like before Christ?

My goals in life were different; life was about finding a good job and working hard for it, getting married, and dying. I thought I was loving or a good person by just understanding and empathizing with people's feelings. Furthermore, I was overly concerned with gaining the approval of my parents, over and above going to church.

2. How did you become a Christian?

After meeting friends from CERC at my University Christian Fellowship, I learnt that Jesus Christ did die for sins, but in the end, it is God's sovereignty that turns the hearts of man to be followers of Christ, therefore, not everyone is saved. I then learnt what it meant to be a follower of Christ; picking up my cross and following Him to my death while being an exile in this world. God enabled me to understand predestination (Matthew 16:13-17), which is the foundation of the gospel that I couldn’t understand and wrestled with for almost a year. Understanding that helped me realise the depth of my sins and helped me see God as a just God. I realized that I am deserving to be sent to hell for my sins, but because Jesus was sent to the cross to die for sins, I can be forgiven through him and serve and belong to God wholeheartedly.

3. What has changed since becoming a Christian?

Although my family knew I was Christian, I wasn’t allowed to go church until I was 18, and even when I reached that age, I didn’t think it was important. I am grateful for my friends from CERC. They weren't just my friends, they were wanting Jesus to be glorified in my life. They kept on inviting and encouraging me to go to church, which gave me the courage to tell my family I want to go to church, not because it’s just a need for Christians to gather in a building but it’s a gathering of God’s people to put aside one day to wholeheartedly worship and learn about His Word. My family is concerned about me spending too much time with Christian activities and church, but I know now that while I need to honor my biological family, my spiritual family is with the people of God. I’m a sojourner in my family but 1 Peter 1:3 shows us that there’s a living hope through Jesus’ resurrection, and I’ll be okay.

4. What does it mean for you to say "I am Christian"?

With the understanding of Genesis 1:26-28, my purpose is to reflect God and His image, to be and live out holy as I am part of His chosen priesthood (1 Peter 2:9-10) and to be set apart from the world (Leviticus 20:26)

1. What was your life like before Christ?

I was a student, grappling with the meaning of life and struggling to find the drive to fulfill my academic duties as expected of every asian household. I couldn’t understand the purpose of studying or why I had to follow the conventional path of education, finding a job, growing old, and eventually dying. If death is the inevitable end, why should we adhere to a system created by others? I felt trapped in a system that seemed to be shaped by culture and history, and it all felt rather meaningless or futile. On the other hand, life was fairly comfortable for me. I grew up in a loving family with parents who cared for us. Looking back, I realize I likely never truly experienced much hardship or suffering. Because of this, I felt I had to find a way to find purpose in life and the motivation to live a life worthy of my parents and society.

2. How did you become a Christian?

My now-husband, who was a close friend in high school, invited me to his Tertiary Growth Group (a small group bible study). During my first session, I learned about the Trinitarian God- an immense, perfect God who created the world and established the laws of life, giving purpose to existence. I also learned about a perfect mediator Jesus, who, being both God and human, lived a purposeful life flawlessly; a God-purposed life. In this, I saw a broken world and people, but also Jesus as the perfect example of humanity and a true love seen in the Trinity.

Although I couldn’t fully grasp the depth of what I was learning, I knew this was no ordinary God and there was more to understand. I began attending Growth Groups weekly. Pastor Jerome read the Bible with me for six months, I was convicted by the gospel and realised my sin against God, His purpose for the world and His people and repented.

3. What has changed since becoming a Christian?

My life has transformed dramatically since I became a Christian. I left CERC for nine years... From living with my boyfriend in sexual sin in a perfect paradise (Australia) and just making decisions according to my emotions (My now-husband's words to me: "You always make decisions with your emotions!"), to now realizing how lost I was, not knowing myself yet not being able to leave Christianity because of all the robust and strong teaching I learnt in CERC. I used to curse CERC for all the good teaching given to me that made me unable to leave Christianity.

There has been a profound change in recognising the depth of my sinfulness in God's eyes and in the way I perceive life. I truly understand how undeserving we are of His grace and mercy. My heart has changed, too. I went from focusing on my own desires and making decisions for myself to having a genuine desire to please God and to serve Him and His church. Also, I can now find joy even in trials (having a heart that wants to serve rather than grumble), realising that this life I live under Christ is a gift from God. He has called us to a life of obedience, a life that mirrors Christ. This includes worshiping God by loving His church, raising godly children who fear Him, and sharing His good news with the world.

4. What does it mean for you to say "I am Christian"?

It means that I am undeserving and privileged to be chosen as part of God’s people that has His Spirit in me, convicting me of my sinful nature and renewing my heart and soul from death to life through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It means that I now live a life under the dominion of Jesus, in likeness of His life, desiring to love and serve God the Father and His people that he has saved.

1. What was your life like before Christ?

I only chased after things that made me feel happy at the time, not really having a goal in life besides maybe getting enough money to fulfil my own desires. I also barely had any friends back then and struggled to find new friendships. I constantly tried seeking attention but to no avail. Although I’ve been to Sunday school as a kid, I never really cared about God too much when I grew older though I knew of his existence.

2. How did you become a Christian?

I joined Christian Fellowship in midway through second year of university and the students there who were attending CERC read the book of Mark with me.

Previously, I believed there is a God over everything but I didn't care which religion was right. The parable of the soils in Mark stuck out for me as that got me to think of what kind of person I am and whether I am rooted in God’s word. The president at the time, Matthias from CERC (the President of CF) read Romans 3 with me and that got me to realise my unworthiness before God and that I was deserving to die, but Jesus died on my behalf to atone for my sins and to please God’s wrath so that I may be declared Holy before God.

3. What has changed since becoming a Christian?

Knowing my own sin and how they could be forgiven changed the way I looked at myself from being somewhat carefree to aware of my own rebellion against God. And seeing the history of what God has done on this earth reminded me of God’s existence and presence in my life and led me to repentance. I have grown remorseful of my own sins but I do have faith that what Jesus Christ has done on the cross has cleansed me and liberated me from death by sin. Concerning this, I have then begun trying to evangelise my non-Christian friends to bring them to God although sometimes they may ignore me, but any time I have the opportunity I try to talk to them about God’s word, I’ve also started serving in Christian Fellowship recently to try to bring God’s word to more people.

4. What does it mean for you to say "I am Christian"?

I believe that what Jesus has done gives me the freedom to follow in the footsteps of Christ, and striving to be more and more like Christ every day and willing to go through struggles for what God wants for us to do, to love others and love God.

1. What was your life like before Christ?

I grew up in a free-thinking environment, believing that life on earth was simply about living comfortably, pursuing a career to support my family, and eventually dying of old age. I was content with this way of life and assumed most people shared the same mindset. However, even back then, I often saw Christians as joyful people. I thought perhaps their joy came from their religion and the supportive community behind it. I was drawn to Christianity because of that impression. If I ever chose a religion, I figured I would rather be a Christian.

2. How did you become a Christian?

A friend from high school invited me to attend his church. Initially, I never thought I would become religious, and I saw it as just another opportunity to spend time with my friend every week. However, I continued attending church because I wanted to learn more about Christianity through the sermons. Eventually, I joined a small group in the church. Charmed by the sense of community, I wanted to be part of it. After attending for a year, I accepted Christ during Easter in 2023.

At that time, I thought that I had finally found acceptance in the community—and I did. The community treated me well and guided me in many aspects of life. My Christian outlook at that time was centered around being accepting of all people and treating them with respect, believing that others might be drawn to Christ through my example. However, I faced challenges in understanding Scripture when I tried reading the Bible on my own. Frustrated by the difficulty, I eventually gave up and concluded that as long as I had faith and belief, I would be fine. But I was slowly becoming nominal. Even though I was serving in the church and attending Bible classes at that time, I was spiritually double-minded, and I was living a life of sin. Eventually, I started to attend church only occasionally, and I would have ignorantly been content being nominal.

In 2024, my colleague invited me to CERC, so out of curiosity, I decided to check it out. I first attended Geddit, then continued attending the weekly gatherings. I thank God that CERC is a church that takes God’s word seriously, both in trying to understand and applying it in our lives. In those weeks, God’s word through the church has challenged my sinfulness and made it clear that I cannot continue living as before. I deserve judgment but God has saved me to serve Him. My life belongs to God now.

3. What has changed since becoming a Christian?

I am more aware of my identity as someone who belongs to God. Previously, my life was not God-centred at all. I was just doing whatever I wanted. But now, I am consciously making decisions so that my life can be of service to God. I am more aware of my sins and am actively fighting against them. Community is no longer the main driving force behind what I do or why I stay in church; rather, it is God. Where there was stagnation in my growth, now there is a hunger to know more of God.

4. What does it mean for you to say "I am Christian"?

Being a Christian is not just a religious label; it's a declaration to live a life dedicated to following Christ. This means denying oneself and resisting worldly desires.

It is the responsibility of those born again to spread the gospel, so that others may come to know Christ through our words and preaching. Our actions and demeanor must also reflect Christ to the outside world, as our behavior can either attract people to Christianity or give them the wrong impression, hindering evangelistic efforts.

Baptism is a public declaration of this new identity. In the past, I have delayed my baptism because I was not sure if I wanted to fully commit to being a Christian. But in the past year, since learning the gospel, I am convinced that this is the right thing to do since God rules and owns my life.

1. What was your life like before Christ?

My life before I knew Christ was focused on being ‘happy’. For example, I just lived for myself without thinking about my future. I lived for my own happiness. One example is that after I started my University life, I always hung out with my friends and drank/had fun with them until late at night, even though I knew I should focus more on my studies and be serious about my future career. I don't care and just want to have fun.

2. How did you become a Christian?

After graduating from my foundation studies in Sabah, I transferred to Subang for my degree. I felt lost during that period because I had changed to a new environment, which was very different from Sabah, and also because I was taking a degree that I disliked (accounting and finance,which made me feel lost because I don't want to stay inside an office forever). Therefore, I joined my INTI CF during club and society week. At first, I joined because I thought I could find comfort in this club (when I was non-Christian, I thought religion was just a comfort for everyone, regardless of which religion). Then, after I joined their weekly gathering and bible study, I noticed they are very Christ-centred. For example, all of their talks were about Christ (I thought if the topic were money, then they would only talk about money, as non-Christians, I didn't expect they would link to the bible). Furthermore, Phua Wai Wai was my small group leader in; she did Two Ways to Live studies with us. From thereon, I started to understand the gospel. It was pretty tricky for me, mainly when she talked about sin and how God is the creator of everything; I felt like my existing worldview was being transformed.

I was not a Christian and not going to any church at the time. Thankfully Phua invited me for Geddit. She asked me if I was interested in joining the event, and I said yes. Honestly, I can't remember Ps. Robin's talk on that day, but I still remember his example, which said that we are like naughty children and God is the parent. The parent knows what's best for the children and asks them to listen to Him, but naughty children don't want to listen to the parent and want their way. I remembered this example clearly, as this talk happened to come after we learnt the second box of two ways to live (about sin) in our Christian Fellowship small group.

I started to join CERC on Sundays and TGG after that day. I slowly understood more about Christianity (from TGG Chinese) and became a Christian from there. But what made me stand firm in Christianity is the Book of Genesis; by understanding the creation of the world and the origin of mankind, I have a conclusion that 'ya, this is the God, THE TRUE GOD of this world'.

So, this is my story of how I became a Christian.

3. What has changed since becoming a Christian?

Many things changed after I became a Christian -my mindset was the biggest change. When I was non-Christian, I just wanted to have fun and didn't care about other things, but after I became a Christian, I started to care and think about how I should live my life as a Christian, a lot of things to be concerned with and struggle with after I became Christian. Furthermore, some things have changed –for example, my friend groups, my lifestyle, the way how I treat others/things and so on.

4. What does it mean for you to say "I am Christian"?

It means I will no longer live for myself, my life will be Christ-centred. I need to 'pull out' (put to death)the previous version of myself because that old me is a sinful person, that person belongs to Satan's house-but now I'm a Christian, which means I belong to God's house now. Therefore, I must 'pull out' the old me and start a new life in Christ. Also, when I say ‘I am Christian’, it reminds me that God shows His great mercy to me; therefore, live a ‘Soli Deo Gloria’ life.

1. Tell us more about yourself

Born into a Christian family, attended church but didn't know what Christianity was - was just a Sunday practice. Since I was young, my family was broken, so from the get-go I couldn't see Christianity in my family. When I was 7, I moved to KL because of dad's work. Went to a mega church. Also a Sunday practice, all I knew were bible stories and memory verses. Sometimes I got bored of class and would read the Bible myself. Back then I already wanted to serve in my Sunday school class. Not entirely sure why I wanted to - just felt like the right thing. Was very active with their performing arts group - grand Easter and Christmas productions. Was exposed to the whole idea of speaking in tongues there. We were always taught about the tabernacle in the OT, and always when we "entered the holy of holies" we'd bow down and start speaking in tongues. I didn't exactly speak in tongues, but when it was going on I suddenly felt like crying (possibly because there were other people crying). After that the teachers would keep asking why I cried, but I couldn't never answer them. My mum who was happy about the Spirit then taught me how to speak in tongues, got starter phrases-rolling the tongue, then added some other consonants and vowels you felt like adding at the time. Always felt awkward and ridiculous. I never spoke in tongues out loud. Secondary school, (from this point my family would just mean my mother, sister, and I) we switched churches due to some problems in our old church -

In the new church I was in, didn't like youth so much - cliques meant people never gel outside their rings (seen throughout in adults and youth alike). Youth was like a workshop, the pastors would share their stories and testimonies, and inspire people from that. I didn't like it so I would still read the Bible myself. After a few years we'd have stopped going to church altogether because it was cold and loveless. Couldn't see what I read in the Bible in people, even though the church might do the "right things".

Time to time we'd visit a church to see if people there were different. but again and again still felt quite cold (even though there were one or two nice follow uppers).

I was depressed in my uni years because of some family issues. Headaches, insomnia, anxiety every day - I only drifted through life without an answer to my questions about life. Who exactly is God? Why can't I do anything to make this world better?

I would change from universities quite a bit, firstly from Nilai U, was doing Aircraft Maintenance Engineering, then Taylor's for Foundation, then Heriot Watt for Mechanical Engineering. I kept failing and was super unmotivated to do anything.

2. How did you become a Christian?

Then, GE14 happened. I had some hope, since the impossible happened. I figured it would be one more shot at life else I would rather just die and disappear since I had no value. I had arguments with my dad and for the first time I could discuss and figure out with my family what I could do. So I ended up in education, instead of fixing machines, I'd fix people. That's how I ended up in Taylor's once again in Education. That's where I met my fellow brother Adrian Tan.

It was because of an assignment that brought up Christianity - it was education history and it had to do with the church. No one in my life ever talked about church history, and so I thought Adrian was Roman Catholic. So i asked him if he was and it turned out that he was actually an evangelical reformed protestant. I attended ICW the following week and met Hong Wei. That was the first time I saw someone explain things by opening the Bible, literally. It was a question on worship and out came Romans 12. Hong Wei then introduced me to CERC, he showed me a Wait What - i think it was Word vs Spirit,and I was already convinced that CERC was doing something right. CERC’s desire to read the Bible faithfully got me to attend regularly.

For once I thought I found meaning in life, and so long sermons, serving in church, discipline was no problem for me at all. When I heard about how CERC was being accused of being a cult, I recalled from my church experience and what little I knew about false prophets and persecution from the Bible, and it affirmed me further that CERC's manner is what Christianity needs. And so I signed up for membership, and though I may struggle a lot (can ask me about this as well), I am quite certain that I wont leave the church, because I've been dead outside, and will most definitely die if I ever left Christianity.

3. What has changed since becoming a Christian?

In the next three years I've been challenged by the word on how to serve.

From 2022-2024, I left CERC for 3 years but now I've returned realizing the danger of sin, and now constantly reflect on my heart. It was easier just doing things out of duty, looking and feeling like I'm doing enough for God, but my heart is ever guilty of not giving God my all. Therefore now I've been humbled into working on my salvation, continually being sanctified by the word such that I focus on what God approves, to take seriously His will.

4. What does it mean for you to say "I am Christian"?

As a Christian now, my life has been redeemed by Christ so that I can serve God with my entire being, for the purpose He has called me to. My heart has been changed such that it desires God, His word, His will, even though sinful flesh may hinder me from serving Him wholeheartedly. Nevertheless He the almighty planned for my life, and whatever it may be, I trust His will and His discipline, to love Him as He loves me, to love my brothers and sisters as He loves them, to love my enemies as He loves them. I am now committed to being part of His people, the church, to serve as one of the many bricks which rests on Christ's foundational work. As a new person, I should go out to make disciples, to call people back to God by proclaiming the Gospel. To teach, train, serve one another in the church so that it may be edified and grow.

1. Tell us more about yourself

To give a bit of context, I was born and raised in a Christian family. For most of my life, I was pious in the way I lived was just followed my parents because they took care of me and my needs. Throughout my childhood and up till high school I always was a kid who never questioned why we believe in god, the reason why I’m even called Christian and I never really thought I was ever gonna stay in Christianity.

My life before Christ was something like a search for a meaningful purpose. Remembering the time when I first started questioning what the point of living in this world was when there was so much suffering in the world. How this questioning began when I was 13 years old, I remember I was coming home from school getting home with my mom and she broke the news my grandpa had passed away. It also so happened to be my birthday, though rather a day of celebrating a birth it was a day of mourning instead. I’m sharing this story not to get pity or any reassurance but I’m sharing how it started my search for a purpose, if life was so precious that it can be created and taken why are we here in the first place? I started to question God why do we suffer? even though your son died, it didn’t seem it solve the issue of why we still suffer. I was searching for my purpose in so many aspects of life: a good job, a stable home, a great family, or perhaps a life I can relax from all this suffering in the world very inward looking to please my wants of what I will give me purpose.

Soon though I realize after a while, after death, I’m not going to bring any of these things of the world so what’s the point even in finding a purpose that will never last? I was living a life of no clear direction.

2. How did you become a Christian?

I was asked by my parents when I was 15 if I wanted to be baptized, I said no.

After Kae Sheng read the Bible with me and joining SOLIDD Online, I told my parents I was interested in getting baptized. I was 18 years old.

I started to come for SOLIDD online, during that time it was on the series of Colossians. One thing that stand out to me was when the talk was about what it meant to be alive in Christ. It got me asking, “I’m dead?” And that’s what made me to even question my own very belief of who Christ was, if God made us alive in christ and I’m dead what does it mean? That’s when I was really challenged by the gospel and how it ties all back to Christ what it means to be alive together with him and how does it have to do with us being dead at first. I really want to know who God is, who were actually are before God, and what Christ’s ultimate purpose is.

3. What has changed since becoming a Christian?

For most of my life sin was quite a major part of my life that I didn’t get. Growing up I was always thinking sin was just doing bad things and those things are the law. So a moralistic kind of thinking, but from the gospel rather than outward actions, sin has been a deep-rooted problem since the start of humanity. Going back to the fall of man, it’s been in Man throughout the bible and still now. So the way I see sin now is not an external problem but an internal issue a matter with the heart where we reject God, where we can’t obey God no matter how hard we try and the one we offended won’t let us rebel against him forever.

Going through studies, I can see now Christ his Son was more than just a guy who died for our sins. He is the Son of God, shown by his obedience to the Father up till the cross he suffered through all of it in faithfulness to the Father. Even yet we are sinners who reject the Father, In his holy love God still ordains us to be his true sons with his Son Jesus Christ as a propitiation for our sin. So this gift is a blessing from God, even yet God should be blessed for everything he does, as it all falls into his plan and purposes. From creation itself, I can see his control over the way he created the heavens and earth and how he brought order and separation just perfectly in all his wisdom. Just perfect for man to live in his world for his glory to be seen in man as we are blessed to be an imitator of God so that his creation may flourish and be many on the world he created that will magnify his Glory.

4. What does it mean for you to say "I am Christian"?

For me is recognizing I’m a sinner before a holy god who made us for His good. We have fallen short of the glory that he has laid for us choosing to rebel against him throughout history by nature till today. Yet God sent his Son Jesus Christ who showed us what true Man how we were meant to be living it all out as well as what it means to be Sons of God, and showed the glory that god deserves even till death. So now being redeemed as his Sons of God as Jesus has served us as a perfect sacrifice to forgive us from our sinful and wicked nature to a holy god, may we repent and turn away from our sin. That we may by his grace come to believe that he is our one and true God who deserves all of us because of what he did in everything it’s a blessing he does everything. As we await for his second coming who will restore all things as he brings judgment to all sinners. But as Christians, we have this hope that we will have eternal life that is in God’s Kingdom and be made perfect in Christ.

1. Tell us more about yourself

Seeing there’s no kids get baptized and lack of education on why need to be baptized, I thought that believe in Jesus and become a Christian is a thing that waits until I come to 21 (legal age of adulthood), then only be able to think about it and make such an important decision in life as a grown-up. I go to church with my family, I attend Sunday School and Children Saturday School (圣道学校) every week, joining Church children's camp every year since kindergarten. In an attitude of playing & enjoying while listening to various of the Bible's stories to learn who God is, who Jesus is and how to be a “good child” who pleases God, sometimes it ends in developing good character and moral values. Before knowing Christ：until the year of 2014, I had only felt that my life was about to be threatened when various natural disasters were happening all over the world from the news. Is the end of the world coming? If Jesus comes back tomorrow, how can I still not know who Jesus really is?! Therefore about 11-12y/o, in the bible study section, I began to care about who God is, my relationship with Him should not only stay in the “He is the powerful creator of this world and He is the only God, and then I am a small human in all creation”, it seems to be just a distant relation.

Besides, there was a time before I followed Christ, I deceived myself into thinking I was free when I ran away from God. I thought I could leave God and started to live in my own happy world where I didn’t have to keep struggling about whether I am a Chrstian, who God really is in my life.

2. How did you become a Christian?

When I came to KL for study, I knew that my jie jie Hui Chin is going and serving the Lord in CERC as her local church (I found out later that it is about commitment), it seems like it is a church that I can go to for Sunday gathering as a “Christian”. Growing up background: Since I am a kid, Hui Chin as the eldest sister is most educated/knowledgeable and top student 最厉害读书 in my family, she always teaching and leading me, and it can almost be said that she guided me throughout my life, including the word of God. Therefore, it would not be wrong to follow my 大姐。

Few years ago in the end of 2023, I almost wanted to leave God…

1. due to my gastric problem
2. academic stress caused by my poor learning ability
3. been attending CERC for long time but most of the time I still can't understand and get what Pastor is talking about…
4. I don't want to build relationships with people, because I don't want the brothers and sisters of the church to know how bad my relationship with God is. I think this is just a problem between God and me, why should I let others know
5. I know that Christians should preach the gospel, but I don't care whether those people know God or not. In fact, I don't know how to love people because I don't love God at all. Growing background: Even friends who grew up together in the church and learned who God is will break up, not to mention friends outside the church, such as those in tuition centers where relationships can only be built on worldly things, so why should people build relationships with people? Sooner or later, it will end anyway, so it's better not to have it, so don't touch it.
6. Previously, I just wanted to have an eternity with the people I care about, that is, go to heaven together where we can be family forever and there’s no goodbye anymore. (background of the incident: One day during the CERC Camp 2023, I received a call saying that my grandma had passed away. She had lived in my house for the past few years and my parents took care of her. I thought that the time I knew her was not enough to earn too much emotional connection with her, because she was too old to chat and communicate with people normally due to Alzheimer's disease. Only occasionally when I asked her, "Grandma, do you know who I am?", she would answer me "Ah Hui", as if our relationship was just a Hi Bye Friend with blood. But when I knew that she had passed away, I felt very sad. It turned out that I actually cared about this relationship, it turned out that death was so real and so scary, I was afraid that I would never see her again. I knew that only God's people would be able to meet again in the future and never be separated again. She was taken to a Chinese Sunday Congregation by my parents before she got too old to only lie in bed, but she used to speak Hokkien and could not understand Chinese. But I can't be completely sure that my grandmother belongs to the kingdom of God. I was so sad that day that I wanted to bury myself in the sand, thinking that I probably would know after I died.)
7. Many Christians didn’t study God's words as deeply as CERC's Christians, but they still live well in their lives, and it does not mean that they are definitely not God's people because people do not belong to God's family by what they have done...So why do I have to study God's words so hard now, but in the end I get tired and still don't understand or always stay in struggling but no results situation?

When the Genesis series started, all these factors made me want to run away from God...(I later realized that I didn't want to face the fact that I was such a sinful person and that God was the only God). After all these years (almost 10 years) of wanting to know God, I began to get tired of hearing anything about Him, I even stopped going to Sunday congregation. My mother noticed that I didn't go to church for a few weeks and asked me if I wanted to go to another church with her Because I couldn't tell my parents that I didn't want to be a Christian anymore, I pretended to go with them and in my heart didn't want to care about God. But when I listened to pastors preaching on the stage, I couldn't help but wonder what they meant? What does God want people to do?...I am really grateful to God now, at that time, I said I didn't want to think about Him anymore, but I still couldn't completely stop myself from wanting to know who He is (although it might just be a curious attitude).

Before, people in CERC, I refused previous invitational attempts. When I knew that the theme of Camp SOLIDD was on Relationships.

I went to Camp SOLIDD and during the Rooms of Unreality activity, I was like being awakened. I saw from an outsider's perspective how miserable and even pathetic I was.

1. One of the rooms: In one of the rooms, there was a girl (played by Ashley) who had been happily hiding in her own bubble. In fact, it was just her fantasy of a beautiful world. I saw that she just didn't want to escape from her comfort zone and still lived in the self-deception of feeling good. As a GenZ, I never thought there was anything wrong with living in my own bubble before, but when I looked at “myself” from a third-person perspective, I realized that something was wrong. People shouldn't live like this, and what's more terrifying is that she herself didn't think there was anything wrong.
2. One of the rooms: The most impressive room, there was a girl (played by Aaryn) whose boyfriend betrayed her and was with her good friend. She was so sad that she even killed her boyfriend, wrapped up his body and hung it on the wall. I was thinking at the time, it was strange that she had obviously used her own way (killed him) to solve the problem (betrayal), but why did she continue to be angry and heartbroken? When I saw her crying with her back to us, I suddenly wanted to hug her and comfort her because I felt that she was innocent and suffered such a deep hurt, just like me in the past (I can empathize with her?). Before going to bed that day, I found that my entire life was very similar to that girl in some aspects - perhaps it was because my previous friends and I had lost contact a long time ago and there was no chance to see each other again, in the past 4-5 years, I said that I didn’t care about that friendship anymore, but in my heart I still wanted to know how my childhood friends were doing. Many times when I got to know God more deeply, I would immediately think of that group of people, "Do they regard God as God in their lives?", "Have they grown in the Word of God?", or are they just like me who used to go to church with my own family and then had nothing to do with God when I returned home and went to school...I still care about whether I will meet them again in God’s eternal kingdom in the future. For so many years, I have been self-mockery to my sister and said, "I don’t have any friends" and "They are just classmates", but in fact, in my heart I long to have a good and real friendship. Every time I envy everyone when they discuss God enthusiastically and sincerely, when I see people of different backgrounds hugging each other to repent and confess their weaknesses, or when they are happy and excited about their growth in Christ together. I have been a regular at CERC for about three years, but I still say to Hui Chin, "You guys, CERC.", I feel like I don't belong here. Partly I don't want to build relationships with people, and partly I'm not sure and don't want to build church relationships with Christian here. Maybe I still want to wait for the day when I can go back and repair the relationship with them, and then continue to build the church together in Christ.

Reading and thinking about Ephesians (Ch1-2) in SOLIDD Munch, I finally understood the meaning of “in Christ” in the song 《爱的团契》(Love Fellowship) that I sang when I was young. It is not just a group of people who get to know God together, nor just a group of Christians who serve in the church group. We are not in Christ originally, which is as terrible as Eph 2:1-3, 11-12 without God and hope. It turns out that "the love of the Lord" is not the enthusiasm and vague faith we think we have in the church, but Eph 2:5-9. In Camp SOLIDD Food, Talk 3: You and The Church, I also understand the importance of the church. The vertical relationship is through the horizontal relationship. Leaving the church is leaving Jesus, because (Ephesians 1:22-23, 4:12b-13). Hui Chin also told me that they (those previous friends I care about) may be part of the Universal Church, but the most important thing for a Christian is to establish a local church first. I realized that I need to return to the church, and CERC is where I ran away from God's church before.

3. What has changed since becoming a Christian?

Back from Camp SOLIDD, I come back to CERC that time church is on 1 Peter series and I started to join SOLIDD Online, learning and thinking in the Gospel of Mark with people and seeing them (who are in CERC) as my “church” to growing up and starting to learn how to build friendships with others.

When I saw people being baptized at the CERC Camp the year before (2023), I felt very sad, I didn't understand why people had to completely abandon themselves and commit to this god. Maybe I am also sad because I don't really want to belong to this kingdom (The Church) and really get what “truly good” is. Why can they be so happy to abandon themselves and belong to God completely? From CERC Camp 2024, I finally understood the water that the baptizers are immersed in is not just because God likes to use water, so the disciples should be baptized according to the Bible and just learn from Jesus to be baptized with water. It turns out that 原来! this water is the water that God used to destroy all the evil and corruption in the world with the flood in Noah’s Ark (from Genesis 6:5)! For so many years, I did learn from Pr. Lew's (from Tampoi Holy Word Church in Johor Bahru) teaching and knew the significance of the Noah family being separate out from the world & Gen 6:18 the very first covenant that God gave to humans who are also His chosen people, but didn’t know (or maybe forgot) the direct connection with the baptism. It turns out that the first time God used water, He already began to foreshadow baptism (1 Peter 3:18-22), the baptism corresponding to Noah’s Ark (v20), “and now also save you” (v21). Therefore, when I heard all the baptism candidates say “I renounce them all” in this year camp, I really wanted to be like them——declare my determination to renounce the rule of the devil, renounce my own fleshly desires, and renounce all ideas and world view that do not belong to God!!!

In CERC Camp 2024, I finally realized how GOD IS LOVE (Love is from God and is ONLY defined by God) in understanding the theology and recalling how He is in my life previously to realize love of God.

Jie Yun did one on one with me in study 1 Peter, she used the scriptures to persuade me, saying that God is now speaking to me and teaching me with His words. (I forgot where the scripture Is, but it might be in Timothy 2 chp3)

1 Peter to James, I finally realized that even though I had studied God's words in church for so many years, I still could not understand God. It was not because I did not understand (know) God, but because I was not willing to obey His words at all. I always said "I want to know God", but in fact in my heart I only wanted the “God” I wanted. When I was unwilling to accept the true (reality) of God in my heart, I felt that I did not understand God. In fact, I did not want such a God in the bible said who He is. I used to think that everyone’s unchangeable subconscious and logical thinking methods in their heads were different, which affected how they thought and learned. So the real problem was not that I was physiological stupid, but that my heart was unwilling to obey God and was unwilling to be changed. Therefore, what I want to do now is humble to repent and then obey God as in James 1:21-22. Pray to ask for understanding God’s Will. 1Peter also told me not to double-souled anymore, Be Who You Already Are as God's people. Thence, I learned to Love God & Love The Church (His People) 爱神爱人.

4. What does it mean for you to say "I am Christian"?

In April of 2021 I came to KL. For a long time, I questioned whether I was a Christian or whether I came to church just because I was used to it and liked it, but maybe I was just pretending to be a Christian. Because I never understood what God actually wanted to tell me, I couldn't figure out who God really was (why did the one God have so many different identities?). The mind is confused and then extends to “Is it possible that I was not actually chosen by God, or that I am not a person of God and therefore I can’t understood/seen” (*didn't mean physically, it's Eze 12:2)". But everyone told me I have to go to church, so I went, like I had no choice because God is the greatest in authority in the world and I needed to listen to Him. After MCO, I started join TGGC, every Saturday I struggled don’t want to go, but I was created by God to live in this planet and I can’t escape from His world, so I couldn't not go to church to know him (before: In Grace Fellowship, Prisca Wong had taught my batch about The Church, which I knew was not the building or the Christian place of worship, but is the people of God). In those days, every time Hui Chin asked me, "So choose God?", "Why don't you repent?" I told her, "我就是要一脚踏两只船" (I just want have a foot in both camps) and I knew I only wanted some of the parts of God that I want (recall back, what a serious problem that in fact I didn't realize myself was a sinner).

Previous: In my opinion, all of this is actually God self directed and acted. His plan has been planned since before the creation of the world, like a story of a hero saving beauty, and then in the end it is all for the glory of himself, in fact, it is for himself, why is this God so God-centered? I don't know why I should think of God as God, but I still want to know God and His Word. When I first read the book of Ezekiel, I was be tired of and did not understand why God kept repeating to the people of Israel, who had worshiped Him since their fathers, "They shall know that I am the Lord", "and you shall know that I am the Lord", don’t they know? Then God has to do this do that, to let those who originally since their AhGong’s AhGong belong to Him know who He is. huh? Really?不是吧...So they don't know who the God they've been worshiping is?" Through God's word while learning in TGGC, I realize that I have no more excuses for doubt about God that HE IS MY LORD & I AM HIS PEOPLE. In the Ezekiel Series, I found that I could understand God's Word and see God, and because of Eze 11 Verse 19, I had no more reason (再没有任何理由) to say "I am not sure if I am a Christian" (Eze 11:19-20). On the day of the sermon on chapter 16, listening to Pr. Jerome Leng's reading verse by verse on the stage, I felt guilty and realized that I was the prostitute, the one who enjoyed whoring (淫乱). I finally understand: I Gan Hui Hui is a very, very, very sinful sinner, and God has never changed is very, very, very best. I used to think it was bad for God to be God-centered, from Ezekiel I see that God for His own name (神在乎且为着他自己的名), that’s what’s good!! In the end, it turned out that I was the one who didn't know "who God is," and it turned out that I was the one who needed God to let me know "He is my God, I am His People".

I, Gan Hui Hui, am Christian. I can finally stop living for myself completely, but devote myself to God. Like Ephesians said, now I am alive in Christ !!! I want to be what God made me to be, so why not go baptism? To celebrate God’s work, I became part of the true family which is only in Christ. 我要长大了(liao), long for the pure spiritual l milk as in 1 Peter 2:1-3, planted the word of God in my whole being as James 1:21-22 and keep being the disciple of Jesus Christ for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to be perfect and complete without blemish as in Eph 4:12-16. Thank you Jesus. From beginning until the end, it is God's Grace. Timothy 2 1:9, it is a confirmation that all aspects of salvation, including sanctification, are purely by grace and not by human works (Ephesians 2:8-9). From unconditional election “before the foundation of the world” (Eph. 1:4) to our glory in Christ (Rom. 8:30), salvation is entirely of God's grace.

*By the way, my name in chinese, 惠 means 恩惠 grace. Although my mom bukan named me intentionally, but I will live as Hebrews 4:14-16,1 Peter 5:5-11 until the final union in Christ.