I was cheating in my exams throughout 2020 to 2024 — even while serving in church and presenting myself as if I was doing okay. I hadn’t fully embraced the reality that I am a deceiver and a cheater before God — not just someone who sinned, but someone shaped by sin, and still tempted to live in it. I didn’t want to bring that self into the light before others — not to my parents, not to the church. By secondary school, I was self-assured in performance but poor as a person. I couldn't relate well. I judged quickly. I cared too much about being “right” and little about being loving. So, by the time I came to CERC in 2018, I was already a person, shaped not by truth, but by a lot of self-deception, performance, and people-pleasing. I was outwardly impressive, but inwardly shallow. And so, with that as my foundation, I walked into CERC. I held on to a strong sense of righteousness. In November 2024, God cut my heart through Pastor Robin’s sermon. The Word exposed the deceitfulness of my sins and convinced me of God’s uncompromising character from His holy and righteous judgment. I recalled wanting to excuse my sins during the sermon, but James’ call to throw away all rampant wickedness was an obvious call for me. Ignoring it would have been denying God’s holy expectations. The song “Judge of the Secrets” convinced me even further—especially the line: “I will not hide, I will not run, I know I’m safe with You.” Then, as much as I feared how others would perceive me, I feared the LORD even more. I took comfort in God’s righteous judgment and was strengthened to run into His fiery judgment, and endure the path of discipline. Immediately after that, I came into the light. I confessed to Christine, who was my fiancée at the time. I wrote to ACCA to tell them the truth, shared with my GG team on Thursday, and spoke to Pastor Robin on Saturday. I also told the entire F4 on Saturday evening. I’m still a long way from where I want to be. There are so many instincts in me—so much of that old habit of trying to manage perceptions, to rely on insights or breakthroughs rather than just obeying, to define my worth by what I can do. But I’m learning, slowly, that Christianity isn’t about achieving some perfect moral standard or impressive record. It’s about walking each day in the light of who God is and what He has done in Christ. It’s about learning to see myself as His child—humbled, dependent, but loved, and belonging to His church. Since coming to CERC, I’ve come to see how much of my life had been shaped by self-deception, performance, and a man-centered Christianity.Through CERC’s preaching, confrontations, and the church’s uncompromising commitment to truth, I’ve come face to face with the holiness of God and the reality of my unrighteousness. One big transformation that has taken place is my love for God’s people. I used to run away or avoid the mess of pastoring and taking care of my sheep, which was literally like the basics of love - to love sinners. All genuine CERC-ians will be able to articulate and share how their lives were humbled and broken by God either through the preaching of God’s Word, or a PFU-er ministering to them. They also share the same attitude and spirit in humbly serving God in various ministries without being calculative or unrepentantly bitter when the going gets tough. At the heart of it, I want to be a member of CERC because this is the church where God dwells by His Spirit, among His people, through His Word. Here, I have learned to fear God and worship Him. Here, I have come to know my brothers and sisters in Christ, and see my calling as belonging to them. And here will I use my entire life for His service.