Growing up in a Buddhist background gave me the comfort that I wanted, where I can always stay in the middle in my opinion towards anything including decisions in my life. For example, religion, people's opinions on work, on marriage or relationship. I won't go against other people's opinion because I think everyone has the right to think about certain things in their own way. However, Christianity forced me to make a stand, a stand on the truth I believe in, which is what I won’t do previously. When I come to know Christianity, it really challenges me in the way I view God. The god I want is the god that fits into the way I view life, not the life that follows God’s way. I liked Buddhism because I can do whatever I want, don’t have a strict position on what I should do, just follow my own feelings on the spot. I first came to know about Christianity because of CERC camp in 2019 for the topic of ‘work and wealth’. Pastor Robin is the one that is giving the talk and it’s about the book of ecclesiastes. From my Buddhist backgroundt, I used to think of life as being in this concept of reincarnation stage of life (birth, death and rebirth). Hence, the purpose of life is just earning money, so that I can jaga my parents, have my own family and have babies. Then when I die, rebirth and do it again. I know it’s weird to have this kind of life (so meaningless) but I didn’t question much on it and just accept the facts.. Then Robin talks about the vanity of life and how the Book of Ecclesiastes shows the guy who achieve everything can say that life is vanity. I was quite agreeing with it but compared to my response where I just accepted the fact, the book points us to the purpose of life which is to live life for this God. That is the first time where I get to know this is what Christians believe in. After CERC camp, I start to get interest in Christianity in the way how they see life. and I joined TGGNE where leading by Christine Chong, and long story short throughout God’s story Series, I can see how real the Bible is about human nature and how we just keep sinning against God (esp in the first 5 books, how Israel is just being stubborn even after God just save then and they can still complain about God when they are in the wilderness). Also through God story Series, I realize how I am also not different from Israel who keeps complaining about God, I know there is a God and I know its not the ‘god (guanyin)’ which I worship since young, but I keep escaping from this reality and continue to live the life I want. I can see how sinful I am in doing this where I'm just no different and even worse than Israel as I know Jesus has already died on the cross. Then there is this one day Christine asks me this question. ‘When are you going to decide which God, you want to serve?’ because there is no point for you to keep stay neutral, might as well I just go back enjoy my non-Christian life. (the context is last time I think i consider regular in TGGNE but I keep escaping from making decision because I aware of the cost where my family will be against it and I love my family and I know they love me too, so I really don’t want to lose them) But at the same time I know I can’t just live my non Christian life since I already know the truth : this is the real God who is in control and in his grace and mercy that through his blameless son who being tortured and suffered because of my sin, that I’m able to see this truth which is the gospel and hence I decided to follow God and live out life in his way.