I grew up in a Buddhist household. When I was 18, I volunteered on Logos Hope ship. One night, while songs were played and the congregation sang “How great is our God” and “mighty to save” - for some reason I had tears rolling down my face all of a sudden and I felt this immense love of God that I couldn’t quite explain. I felt this sense of belonging and love, like a hole that was there growing up had been filled and I can finally be loved. So, my buddy pulled me aside later, and sat down with me, said to me the sinners prayer and asked if I wanted to be a Christian. I agreed. She told me that the entire ship travelled to Malaysia to save my soul. Quote “A sheep strays away God abandons the 99 to find the one.” I cried myself to sleep later, because I felt that God was really speaking to me and inviting me to belong to Him because he loved me. I never felt this overwhelming sense of being loved before. I looked for a church that gave me the same experience I had back in Logos Hope. The experience and ambiance had to fit that because that was where I felt connected to God. God to me was that loving Father who would be there for me through the ups and downs in life. He was a figure that loved me unconditionally and cared very much for me, and filled the gaps of love I thought was missing in my life. In the beginning it was all pretty normal, but time and time again I found myself doubting my own faith, and whether I really am a Christian because I never found that sense of connection that I felt back in the ship. I thought that God was far beyond me and I couldn’t really reach out to him because I could not feel him. I thought maybe it’s because I have not been bad, morally speaking, so I joined one of their events called the “Freedom Encounter” that helped Christian to be free from all the anxieties, fears and addictions from their lives. Yet again, like what it used to be for me, I felt like I was stuck in my own sin and couldn’t be good, even after attending that event. The months that followed became mundane. There were ups and downs, times where I felt God was near and sometimes not. I became an occasional Christians, Sunday Christian that went to church when it was convenient for me - when school was not so busy. I tried to be this good Christian girl on the outside, but I knew deep down I was the opposite. I still couldn’t find an answer to the question I had about my perpetual habit of sinning. At the end of A-Levels, I went back to my hometown for a break before uni started and I remember having this thought to myself, I was a Christian, call myself a Christian yet I couldn’t become good. Worse still I found it hard to articulate my faith other than the meagre sum of encounters I had with God. I had a very shallow understanding of my faith and reckon that it was time for a change. So I made up my mind to return to uni with a goal of really understanding God and the scriptures rightly. God used everything from CERC university ministry, to me serving in Monash CF and many other things. These really grew my foundations as a young Christian) and it really took a shift in how I view myself, my life of constantly wanting to be somebody, be good, be perfect, be loved - I couldn’t. Months ensued were a lot of emotional ups and downs, especially where I was entrusted with various ministry roles, a KG leader and President but looking in hindsight those really taught me about what it means to be a Christian, to live a sacrificial life for God. It was really through this experience that I got to witness people sacrificing themselves to me, Jay Lyn especially the times during my presidency years through some late long nights etc etc. These kinda gave me a window to see and witness for myself what a ministry that really seeks to glorify and serve God the best one can. Looking back now, I realised that it was truly God’s mercy and grace that opened my eyes and led me to see my need for the gospel. I am a Christian and now going to be covenanted to be a part of God’s family, not because of merits and how worthy I am, but it is only because God had graciously made me His, to love and serve Him faithfully.