I grew up a nominal Christian. I pretty much just lived in the moment, and avoided thinking about my purpose or a future. I was sent to Singapore at 16 years old, and without parental supervision, I basically did whatever I wanted. I was a decently brilliant student, but I found no meaning in studies and copped out when I could, often dragging my friends with me. I only wanted happiness and sex, and basically that was all I chased, to the point I slept with my then-boyfriend, and then cheated on him because I craved more sex. In Singapore, I was mostly on a steady diet of moralistic teaching at best and ugly hypergrace at worst, meaning I couldn’t properly understand why I had to be “good” (whatever that means) other than horizontally I was taught that the whole point of Christianity is love - universalism, LGBTQ, etc. Still, the fact I dared call myself a Christian despite my horrible actions caused the guilt to gnaw at me at night and I became depressed. I tried to find (my version of) solace from the bible, and instead came across the Matthew 5 verse: “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” God’s level of perfection crippled me and I knew I couldn’t come before this holy God. I attempted suicide and was brought back to Malaysia. I was placed on antidepressants and enrolled in Monash University Malaysia in 2016. I joined the Christian Fellowship in my 3rd semester. Being so hungry for answers from God, I received more than I’d ever dreamed after seeing how much they treasured God’s word, even though I understood very little. It was at a Geddit Get Together where I encountered the truth of Romans 3:10—"None is righteous, no, not one." A phrase that many would find offensive instead gave me peace. I finally saw how God, in His sovereign plan and great mercy, made Christ a curse for me, to bring me into His kingdom. Through the strong, apostolic teaching of CERC, and the kind love of the many church friends I have (Sam Tan, Joshua Chow, Christine Yip, Sam Robless, Munn Kent, Ronnie) I would not be a Christian living steadfast and steady in the gospel. I might be flopping around on some other nonsense gospel that would have ended my life. That’s not to say I didn’t have struggles being reformed - I struggled first with double predestination (this was probably the one I struggled with least, given everything), and I was then frightened off from CERC’s cult accusations. I would say my life has definitely changed, over the many years of being sanded down by the grit of GG and church. I have become someone who can face suffering (never would I thought I would be the person who endures scolding from my managers and boss!), more sacrificial and taking initiative like Christ, who acted first while people were still lacking in many ways (nice way of putting it).. I am thankful that I can teach Sunday School because that’s every opportunity for me to improve my bible reading and teaching. And I can endure all things because of the hope I have in Jesus, who will bring his faithful ones to the end. The family of the resurrected life! That’s all I have now. Thanks be to God. CERC members care SO DEEPLY about God’s word, that they live it out. No fake love here. Theology that actually leads to doxology, rather than No Action Talk Only Christianity. Crazy, as in crazy in love with the God who has given us everything. What a privilege to die for the Lord, LIKE the Lord. What an honour to serve alongside these Spirit filled believers.